


Dissolve Me

by sucrevenin



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-01 05:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sucrevenin/pseuds/sucrevenin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Katniss' eyes, Peeta is perfect. The only problem? He's dating her roommate.</p>
<p>Modern AU. Rated M for explicit sex and language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second attempt at an Everlark fanfiction! I lost interest and inspiration with my first one, but I actually took the time to flesh out where I wanted this to go and am really excited to see this one through. 
> 
> I'm always looking for feedback, so reviews and suggestions are welcome! And I apologize for any mistakes. I've proofread until my eyes hurt, but even the most careful writers are prone to slip ups.

_“Oh fuck, yes.”_

_Katniss bites down on her lip roughly, her hand sliding down from where it had been on her breast to fist in his hair._

_“Just…just like that.”_

_Her head is tilted back on the pillow, her back arching up as she squirms in pleasure. It feels amazing. Everything he’s doing feels so good, and she can feel her body tensing._

_It only takes one last flick of his tongue on her clit to send her over the edge, to reduce her into a moaning mess as she grips the sheets in one hand, her legs clamping around his neck._

_She can barely move a muscle when it finally subsides, and she lifts her head to smile down at him. It’s only when he lifts his head that she finally notices the blonde curls, the impossibly blue eyes, and his lazy grin…_

         Katniss opens her eyes suddenly, snapped out of her fantasy. Holy shit, she was just fantasizing about Peeta She presses the button on her vibrator, turning it off as she slowly slips it out from under the covers, her mind still trying to process how her subconscious had managed to insert the handsome blonde into her fantasy without her even realizing it.

         “Jesus,” she breathes out, unable to help the deep blush that spreads on her cheeks as she climbs out of bed and places the vibrator back in the top drawer of her dresser. She always makes sure to wrap it in a sock and bury it under her things, she doesn’t even want to imagine the hard time Madge and Johanna would give her if they ever were to figure out that she wasn’t nearly as uptight as they thought.

         She walks over to her closet and slips on a pair of yoga pants, stretching out her sore arms as she opens the door and walks out into the common area. She knows she lucked out with the housing lottery; Madge had taken college courses in high school and as result, now had junior standing in the lottery and was able to secure an on campus apartment for the three of them. Most of her sophomore classmates were still enjoying dorm life, but she and her two roommates were enjoying the privacy of their own rooms.

         Katniss grabs a slice of cold pizza from the fridge and fills up a glass of water – her idea of a balanced dinner – and makes her way over to the couch. She knows she really doesn’t have time to watch any TV, but right now she just wants to distract herself from the fact that she’d actually imagined someone she _knew_ while she was masturbating. The thought freaks her out, so she quickly navigates to the Netflix application on the TV Madge’s parents had set them up with, and loses herself in an old episode of Arrested Development.

 

 ----------------------

         “Hey, Kat?”

         Her eyes flutter open as she feels a hand on her arm, shaking her awake gently. She stretches her arms up over her head, blinking the sleep from her eyes as the face before her comes into focus, sitting up abruptly when it does. “Peeta…hey.” She can’t help the look of surprise on her face, and quickly composes herself, looking around the room as she attempts to collect her bearings. 

         “I don’t even remember falling asleep,” she mutters, and she hears Peeta’s laugh in response. “Yeah, you were really out. Madge wanted me to wake you up and see if you wanted to get dinner with us?” 

         Katniss looks at him for a moment, her eyes raking over his perfectly styled blonde curls, and recalling how perfect they’d looked settled between her thighs. The thought causes her to redden and she quickly shakes her head, grabbing a blanket from the couch and pulling it up and around her. In just her camisole and yoga pants, she feels so exposed – not that he even notices, how could he, after all, when he’s dating someone who’s as gorgeous as Madge? 

         “No, no, you guys go without me. I had some pizza earlier.” 

         Peeta rolls his eyes and looks at her, unconvinced, “Katniss, a slice of cold pizza doesn’t actually count as a real meal, you know that, right?” 

         She laughs softly, shrugging dismissively. “Yeah, well, it gets the job done. Besides, I have to finish the lab report for Gutterman’s class.” 

         Peeta grimaces, shooting her a sympathetic look. “I just finished an hour ago. That’s why we’re going out, we’re celebrating. I’ll come by when we’re done and see how you’re doing on it.”

         Katniss nods, shooting him a little smile before standing up from the couch and turning off the TV, not even noticing the way Peeta’s eyes trail up her body, stopping to appreciate the sheerness of her camisole, and the way her nipples are just barely visible through the fabric.

 

\----------------------

         Katniss has been working away at her report for at least a few hours when she hears Madge and Peeta come home. She looks down at the clock and sighs, knowing she has at least an hour or two more before she’s even close to finishing. 

         She rubs the heel of her hands against her eyelids, wondering for the thousandth time why she’d even decided to major in BioChem. It was something both she and Peeta asked themselves on a daily basis, especially when the semester was coming to a close and they were overwhelmed with multiple labs, lab reports, and exams.

         She closes her laptop, figuring that she can take a ten minute break to socialize, and is about to walk out her door when she hears their voices moving from the living room and into the room next door. 

 _Shit._ She hates this. Most of the time Madge and Peeta just go back to his room because his roommate, Finnick, is always staying at his girlfriend’s. But on the few occasions when Finnick’s actually in the room they come back to the apartment and she has to find some way to drown out the noise of what she can only imagine is the best fucking sex Madge has ever had. 

         She grabs her phone and quickly sends a text to Johanna, praying to God that her roommate is coming home soon. At least when Johanna’s here, the two of them can make fun of the situation; When she’s alone, she actually has to deal with the fact that she wishes she was the one Peeta was fucking, that she could be the one to take him in his mouth and milk him to completion.

 

[Katniss]: Are you on your way home?

[Johanna]: Not for another hour. I’m in the library with Gale. You should come.

[Katniss]: I’m good, thanks though. I should sleep soon.

[Johanna]: Are they at it again?

[Katniss]: What do you think?

[Johanna]: Earplugs, brainless. Earplugs.

 

         Just as her phone buzzes with Johanna’s reply, she hears the unmistakable sound of the two of them falling onto the bed and she lets out a soft groan, once again despising the university for not even shelling out enough to soundproof the damn rooms.

         She hears muffled moans and breathy laughter. She’s about to lean over to grab her headphones when she hears a distinct moan that’s much louder than the rest. 

         “Oh God, Peeta, don’t stop.”

         Katniss freezes, her mind instantly going back to her fantasy. Her jealousy is instantly replaced by arousal, and she hates herself for feeling so turned on by the events that are transpiring next door.

         Madge’s moans grow louder and more frequent and Katniss crosses her legs tightly, shaking her head as she grabs her headphones and hastily jams them into her ears, determined to finish this report and go to sleep. She cannot handle this right now. She cannot get turned on by the sounds of him eating her out; it’s too weird, even for her.

 

\---------------------- 

         Her neck feels stiff and her ears ache from falling asleep with her headphones in when she finally wakes up. She grabs her phone, checking the time as she climbs out of bed. She works out a kink in her neck, stripping down and slipping her robe on, not even bothering to tie it fully; Peeta never sleeps over – he’s always strict about getting a full, comfortable 8 hours of sleep – and even on the off chance that one of her roommates is still awake, she knows they won’t care. Plus, there’s just something about feeling free in her own living space that Katniss loves. 

         She walks out of her room, letting out another yawn as she lazily reaches up to let her hair out of its usual braid. As she makes her way to the bathroom, she doesn’t even notice the boy standing in the kitchen, clad in only his boxer briefs, unable to tear his eyes away from her. 

         “Katniss?” She hears him right as she makes it to the bathroom, her head whipping around to find him frozen in place, an incredulous look on his face.

         “Peeta?”

         Her eyes widen in surprise, her mind not even fully awake. The two of them stand there for a moment and she can’t even resist taking in how amazing he looks; his muscles are taut and defined from years of wrestling and football, and the bulge in his boxer briefs is achingly apparent. 

         She's confused by the look he's giving her – it almost looks as if he’s shocked, like he’s dreaming, but there’s also a hunger there. She looks down, wondering what he could be looking at, and it’s only then that she sees that her robe has fallen to the side slightly, revealing one of her breasts and giving a preview to her (thankfully) groomed pubic hair. 

         “Oh my God,” is all she’s able to get out before she dashes into the bathroom, shutting the door as quickly as she can.

         She places her head in her hands, leaning against the door as she tries to keep from throwing up from embarrassment.

         She has no idea how she's going to face him in class.  

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read, bookmarked, and commented! Your feedback as well as the positive response this has gotten thus far has been so encouraging and is only making me that much more excited to delve deeper into the story! 
> 
> I hope to be able to update within the next few days, but if not, expect an update within the next week!
> 
> As always, reviews and feedback are appreciated, and if you are interested in either beta-ing for me (I would be willing to return the favor) or even help me bounce some ideas around, please let me know as I am looking for help with both!

Katniss considered skipping class. For the past hour, she’d sat in her room weighing the pros and cons of attending. She could e-mail her professor her report – it didn’t necessarily have to be turned in by hand – and she could avoid seeing Peeta. However, her ambition won out in the end and she was now walking to class, her head ducked down and her body language even more closed off than normal.

 

When she gets to class, she’s relieved to see that Peeta’s not there yet. Usually they sit together, but today…maybe he’ll do them both a favor and just sit somewhere else. But she knows that’s not going to happen; Peeta’s going to sit next to her and be his usually friendly self in the hopes that things become normal again.

 

She’s right and she hates how well she knows him. He sits next to her in class, acting completely normal the entire time, all the while frustrating her as she tries to reason with herself. _It’s not a big deal,_ she repeats, and it probably isn’t a big deal to him because it’s not like he hasn’t seen the naked female form before. She wasn’t anything special to look at – at the most, it was a shocking an awkward experience for him, nothing memorable or even worth spending much time thinking over, especially when he had someone as beautiful as Madge to come home to.

 

“Katniss, about last night…”

 

Katniss is packing up her things when Peeta speaks, and she looks up slowly, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He laughs softly, scratching the back of his head nervously, “look, I know you don’t want to talk about this but, I just don’t want you to think things are weird.”

 

She swallows roughly and nods, looking back down as she zips up her backpack and swings it onto her shoulders. She begins to weave her way through the desks and towards the door, knowing he’ll fall into step with her and try to talk more and wishing that he wouldn’t.

 

“It was dark, and-“

 

“What were you even doing in the kitchen?”

 

She turns to look at him abruptly, stopping both of them in their tracks.

 

“You usually sleep at home.”

 

Peeta nods, running a hand through his hair as he shrugs uncomfortably, almost as if he feels guilty. “Finnick needed the room last night and I know Madge likes it when I sleep over so…”

 

Katniss nods, crossing her arms over her chest as she begins to walk again.

 

“I’m sorry it happened…it won’t happen again, Peeta.”

 

He opens his mouth to reply but she cuts him off, “I have to go. I’m late for something.”

 

She turns in the opposite direction, leaving him standing on the steps of the biology building, determined not to look back. _It meant nothing to him,_ she repeated in her mind, the sickening realization that it would never and could never mean anything to him sinking in as she walked back to her apartment.

 

\----------------------

 

It’s only when Katniss is running alongside Gale that she finally achieves the distraction she’s been craving all day. They’re on their third mile, and she curses how effortlessly he’s able to run compared to her, his long legs working to his advantage, as each one of his strides equals three of hers.

 

“Come on, Catnip. Don’t tell me you’re getting out of shape.”

 

She narrows her eyes, doing her best to speed up from her set pace, grinning triumphantly as she passes him. Her victory is short lived, however, when after a few seconds he overtakes her.

 

“Fuck off, Hawthorne. You know I’m just fine.”

 

He simply shoots her a grin in response and the two of them lose themselves in their run once more.

 

She loves their runs. She loves the set path they always take – the familiarity of the wooded park they’ve been running through for two years now, and just the comfort of his presence. He’s been her closest friend and confidante since she was 11, and other than Prim, he is the only person who truly knows her.

 

She places a hand on her side, doing her best to regulate her breathing when the two finally stop in the little clearing they always take breaks in. It’s beautiful and quiet, with only the noise of an adjacent stream filling the air. She is not the open type, but the few times she’s confided in him since coming to school have been here.

 

“Mellark told me about your little run-in.”

 

Gale’s smirk causes her to narrow her eyes and she looks down, cursing at him under her breath.

 

“You know I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“So he really saw it all, huh?”

 

Katniss reddens, crossing her arms over her chest as she shoots him a death glare. “Who else did he tell? Just you? Or the entire fucking gang?”

 

Gale shakes his head, leaning against a tree as he begins to stretch out his leg muscles. “Only me. Well, Jo, since she was with us at and me lunch. He won’t tell Madge though, don’t worry.”

 

Katniss shrugs, feigning nonchalance as she responds. “Why would I worry? It…it happens. Stuff like this happens. It’s not like he hasn’t seen it before. Obviously he does, I mean I can fucking hear it through the walls.”

 

Gale snorts in laughter, nodding, “yeah, but he hasn’t wanted to see Madge naked since he was like, eight.”

 

Katniss looks up at him quickly, and he shrugs, his expression unapologetic. “You can’t pretend you don’t know, Catnip.”

 

Her look of shock quickly turns to one of confusion, her brows furrowing as she sits down on a fallen tree. “Know what?”

 

“Holy shit, are you really that oblivious?” Gale lets out another laugh, running a hand through his hair as he lets his leg down from its stretch. “Mellark’s had a hard on for you since elementary school. Even Jo picked up on it her first week hanging out with us, there’s no way you don’t know.”

 

Katniss shakes her head, looking up at him like he’s insane. “He’s with Madge, and even if he weren’t, it’d still be bullshit.”

 

“Think whatever you want.  I still can’t believe you had no idea. I figured you knew and were just playing it cool since you weren’t interested. Whatever, it sounds like last night was fucking hilarious.”

 

He leans forward off of the tree, having lost interest in the topic and obviously ready to start the last leg of their run back to campus, and Katniss has never been so happy to cut their break short. Her mind is racing now, filled with doubts and unfortunately enough, an inkling of hope.

 

\----------------------

 

That night, Peeta makes another appearance in her fantasy. However, this time it’s a conscious decision.

 

As her hand slips down beneath her already soaked underwear, she closes her eyes and imagines it’s his hands. She imagines it’s him that’s playing with her clit as she gropes her breast with her free hand, her head tilting back into the pillow and her toes curling and uncurling.

She imagines him bending her over her desk and slamming into her from behind. As her fingers begin to make circles on her clit, she pictures the way his muscles would tighten and strain as he gripped her roughly, how amazing his naked form would look. If he looked amazing with the boxer briefs on, she could only imagine the perfection underneath.

 

When she comes, she’s picturing herself on her knees, taking his perfect cock in her mouth, and she swears it’s the best orgasm of her life.

 

She lies awake in bed after, her mind slowly moving from memory to memory – all involving him. She remembers how surprised she was when she first came to school and found him hanging out with Gale. The two of them had become friends through orientation in their freshman year, so by the time Katniss had enrolled in the university a year later, they were already thick as thieves. She remembers how the two of them had grown close, how even then her feelings were already blossoming. But she’d fucked all of it up when her roommate had shyly asked if she could be set up with Peeta, and Katniss, in an attempt to prove to herself that she felt nothing, had agreed.

 

\----------------------

 

“Admit it. You always do better on tests when you study with me.”

 

Katniss tries her hardest not to smile as she rolls her eyes, shooting Peeta an exasperated look.

 

“God, don’t be so needy. Fine, I’ll fucking study with you.”

 

It’s the week before final exams, and things have finally gotten back to normal with her and Peeta. The two never spoke about the incident after their initial conversation, and Gale and Johanna failed to mention anything more, so Katniss had dismissed the entire situation. Peeta didn’t like her, he _loved_ Madge; she’d begun the long awaited journey to accepting it.

 

“Perfect. Should I come over at 6?”

 

Katniss nods, already breaking off from him as she walks towards her next class. “Sounds good. And don’t forget the study snacks this time.”

 

\----------------------

 

Katniss leans back in her chair, rubbing the heels of her palm against her eyes as she groans, “I don’t know if I can do this much longer.”

 

Peeta lets out a sympathetic laugh, getting up from the dining room table and making his way into the kitchen. “I’m going to steal a drink.” Katniss nods, turning her head towards him. “Can you grab me a cider?” Peeta looks up at her and raises his eyebrow teasingly, “hard cider on a school night? I had no idea you were such a rebel, Katniss Everdeen.”

 

“A single cider is hardly rebellious, nor is it enough to even impact my ability to function tomorrow,” she shoots back, rolling her eyes with a laugh.

 

Peeta grabs two ciders from the fridge and sets them down on the table before settling back into his seat, and this time it’s Katniss’ turn to tease him, “hard cider on a school night? I had no idea you were such a rebel, Peeta Mellark.”

 

“You’re a bad influence I guess.”

 

Katniss laughs; grabbing the bottle opener on her keychain and opening the two drinks before she looks back down at the book in front of her. “Do you want me to quiz you?”

 

He thinks for a moment before a grin begins to spread on his face. She looks up at him questioningly, and he simply holds up his cider. “I have an idea. Let’s add some incentive to do well.”

 

“Is getting a good grade in the class not incentive enough?”

 

“Not all of us have the motivation you do, Everdeen.”

 

He shoots her a quick smile to let her know he’s just teasing, and continues on with his proposal. “For every right answer we get, we get to take a drink.”

 

“Isn’t it usually for every wrong answer you take a drink?”

 

“Stop poking holes in my plan. I just made this game up, I get to decide how the rules go.”

 

Katniss rolls her eyes but acquiesces, sitting up straighter as she prepares to answer his first question.

 

\----------------------

 

By the time an hour passes, the two of them have just given up on studying. What had started off as a surprisingly effective quizzing strategy turned into shooting the shit once the two had moved onto their second and third cider.

 

Peeta looks down at his phone, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair.

 

“What is it?”

 

Katniss peers over, the lip of her third cider still on her lips as she takes a sip.

 

“Madge wants me to stay over again tonight.”

 

“So?”

 

“I wanted to get a good night’s sleep for the exam tomorrow, and Madge just said they won’t get through with debate for a while.”

 

Katniss lets out an involuntarily laugh, shaking her head as she looks down.

 

“What’s funny?”

 

Peeta’s looking over at her, amusement and confusion etched into his features, and she can’t even help the words that come tumbling out of her mouth next.

 

“From what I can hear, you two definitely don’t do any sleeping.”

 

Normally, Katniss would’ve turned bright red at her words. Well, normally Katniss wouldn’t have even said them at all, but she was tipsy and past caring what the consequences of her statement was. So what if he found out she could hear them? Maybe it was good for him to know, and then he could try to keep it down.

 

She can’t read his expression when she finally looks up at him and she furrows her brows. “What?”

 

“You can hear us?”

 

“Um.” Katniss looks down again, the awkwardness of her statement finally dawning on her. “Only a little, it’s not-“

 

“Do you like what you hear?”

 

Katniss’ head shoots up at his words, her eyes widening as she takes him in. He’s totally serious, and there’s something in his tone that she can’t quite place and before she even knows what she’s doing, she nods.

 

She didn’t even notice that they’d both been moving closer as the conversation progresses until their faces were inches apart.

 

“Do you like what you saw?”

 

Katniss’ question is barely audible, her words driven by the alcohol coursing through her system and the inkling of hope that what Gale said might be true. It’s the first time either of them has acknowledged the incident in a few weeks, but she’s not feeling nearly as embarrassed as she knows she should.

 

His answer is clear when he leans forward, closing the space between them as he takes her head in his hands, his lips finding hers.

 

He’s an even better kisser than she imagined. And what started out as a soft, tender, kiss quickly becomes a heated embrace.

 

He pulls her onto his lap, or maybe she climbs on – at this point, she has no idea who instigates what, she is too lost in everything to even realize what is happening.

 

With her legs on either side of him, she wraps her arms around his neck, fisting her hands in his hair as his tongue sweeps across her lower lip. She lets out a soft moan when she allows his tongue entrance, and as their tongues fight for dominance, she can feel him hardening against her.

 

His hands grip her hips and begin to move down as she slowly grinds her pelvis against his, and they both let out a moan when the hood of her clit catches on the stiff fabric of his jeans.

 

The two are so caught up in each other that they don’t hear the key turning in the lock.

 

And they don’t notice the beautiful blonde walking through the door until she’s yelling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to update! Finals and school got in the way and it took me a long time to figure out how I wanted to write the aftermath of the incident, but I'm so excited about the route this story is taking and that I've received such a positive response from it!
> 
> As always, reviews and suggestions are welcome, and if you want you can find me on tumblr at sucrevenin.tumblr.com!

“What the actual fuck, Peeta? My roommate? Are you fucking kidding me?”

 

Madge is screaming. Katniss briefly wonders if they’ll get a noise complaint tonight, but she’s brought back into the present with Madge’s hateful words.

 

“And _you._ You’re my roommate. You should know better. You both should’ve known better!”

 

Peeta’s spent the past half hour apologizing profusely, and Katniss knows that she should too, but she can’t bring herself to apologize for what she did. She knows she was wrong, so of course she’s apologized to Madge, but she doesn’t feel regret for kissing Peeta. She doesn’t feel regret because it felt so…right.

 

She doesn’t know how he feels. Part of her was expecting him to shove her off of him as soon as Madge noticed them, for him to begin telling Madge that, “it meant nothing. It was a drunk mistake,” but he hasn’t said that. He just keeps repeating that he’s sorry he hurt her, which Katniss is also sorry for too.

 

_You’re an awful friend,_ her subconscious keeps repeating, and she knows it. She hates that she’s caused Madge pain – pain that she can clearly see etched in the features of her close friend – but everything’s just getting so overwhelming, and the ciders are causing things to happen almost as if she’s in a dream.

 

“We’re through. Get out.”

 

The words ring clear throughout the room, finality setting in as Madge stares at Peeta icily. He gathers his things, his head down as he walks out, glancing up to look at Katniss before he walks out the door, but her head is hung too and he knows she won’t make eye contact.

 

“Madge,” Katniss says softly, hearing the front door close. “Madge, I’m so-“

 

“Save it,” Madge cuts her off. Looking down as she walks past her to her bedroom. “We are not okay right now, Katniss. No apology is going to change that.”

 

She watches quietly as Madge storms off into her bedroom.

 

Katniss has never been a crier, but the shock wears off eventually, and she curls into her bed as the tears begin to fall. She hadn’t meant to hurt Madge – she keeps telling herself this, but unsurprisingly, she doesn’t feel any better.

 

 ----------------------

 

Katniss is woken up by the smell of fries, and she can hear and feel her stomach grumble in response.

 

“I told you food was the best way to snap her out of it.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

As she blinks away the sleep from her eyes, she can hear Johanna and Gale’s bickering voices, and she can’t help the way the corners of her lips turn up.

 

“What are you guys doing here?”

 

Johanna sits down on her bed, holding out the plate of fries – her favorite – from the cafeteria. “We come bearing gifts. But mostly I wanted to ask you what the hell you were thinking?”

 

“Johanna!” Gale admonishes her, but she simply waves him off.

 

“Seriously, brainless, you’re living up to your nickname.”

 

Gale looks as if he’s about to say something else, but she looks over at him pointedly, “if you have a problem with the way I’m talking, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

 

He throws up his hands in surrender and walks out the door, rolling his eyes and mumbling something about a ‘ball-buster’ on his way out.

 

Katniss has buried her head back into her pillow but Johanna isn’t letting her off the hook that easily.

 

“Jo, please.” She simply shakes her head in response, getting more comfortable on the bed.

 

“If you’re going to put me in the middle of this mess, I’m going to at least try and hear the whole story.”

 

“What do you mean put you in the middle of this mess? You have literally nothing to do with any of this.”

 

Johanna rolls her eyes, as if she shouldn’t even have to explain this, but she continues on anyway, “of course I’m in the middle of this. I had Madge calling me all last night. You’re both my friends and I think what you did was really fucked up, but I mean, I’m not going to ice you out because of it.”

 

Katniss looks down at her hands. She hadn’t really thought of how awkward this would be for Johanna, but to be honest, she hadn’t been thinking about anything other than how she could just get through this.

 

“Gale feels bad,” Johanna continues, and Katniss looks up at her confused. “He thinks that maybe if he hadn’t basically laid it out for you that Peeta had been lusting after you, this wouldn’t have happened. I think it would’ve.”

 

Katniss narrows her eyes and is about to defend herself when Johanna purposefully cuts her off. “I don’t mean that you would’ve fucked over Madge regardless, I just…it’s pretty obvious you’re into him. At least to me it is, and on some level, I think Madge saw it too.”

 

Johanna steals a fry from the plate, leaning back on one hand as she eats it. “So, you have a few options. You can continue to lock yourself in here, only leaving for class and the occasional meal, or you can own up to the fact that you messed up and try to move on from here. Personally, I think you should go with the latter rather than the former, but hey, that’s just me.”

 

Katniss sighs, shooting her friend a glare before taking a fry. “I’m only in here because I want to give Madge space.”

 

“Bullshit. You’re in here because it’s easier than seeing Madge and confronting the feelings you have for Peeta, and don’t even try and tell me it’s just physical because I know you have feelings for him.”

 

She’s normally so quick with a retort, but she knows not to argue with Johanna when she hits the nail on the head – something she does often with Katniss. To most, she’s unreadable and moody, but Johanna and Katniss are similar to a fault, and they usually understand the way the other is thinking.

 

“So you’re saying I should talk to Madge?”

 

“I’m saying you should let her know you’re open to talk when she’s ready. And I’m saying that you should talk to Peeta. Have you even reached out to him at all since it happened?”

 

Katniss looks down and shakes her head.

 

“I thought so. He feels like shit. You both do, and obviously it’s good to see that you two aren’t heartless assholes who can pull a stunt like this and not feel bad, but at a certain point you need to stop your pity party and just move on. Madge will move on eventually, and I think that – as bad as this sounds – part of her always knew the two of you had this weird connection.”

 

She nods, chewing on a fry as she takes what Johanna’s saying to heart.

 

“Come hang out with me and Gale. It’ll be more fun than moping in here alone, and afterwards, you should see if you can meet up and talk with Peeta.”

 

 ----------------------

 

It's another few days before Katniss finally takes Johanna's advice.

 

She's sitting at the kitchen table when Madge walks in, looking as beautiful as ever, just fresh from working out.  The two girls look at each other, the tension as tangible as ever, before Katniss finally speaks:

 

“You know I’m not really good with…these things.”

 

“Talking?” Madge shoots back, doing her best to keep her face impassive.

 

“Yeah,” Katniss shrugs, biting her tongue and for once not trying to be defensive, “but I’m really sorry. I don’t really know what else I can do…but if you want to talk, I’m open to it.”

 

Madge sighs, crossing her arms as she looks up at Katniss wearily. “I’m not over it. I’m not even going to pretend I am. I really love Peeta, that’s not going to go away overnight, but I’m not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I’m trying to move on, and I’m not really ready to be friendly with you yet, I’m still not over being mad at you, but eventually we’ll be able to get back to where we were.”

 

Katniss nods, just thankful that Madge sees them becoming friends again. “You’re being so much more mature about this than anyone else would be.”

 

“I wouldn’t call it being mature as much as…I’ve just accepted that it happened, and I wasn’t really all that surprised, to be honest.”

 

She laughs when she sees Katniss’ surprised expression, but it comes out as more of a bitter bark than an actual laugh. “He’s always had a thing for you. He loves me, I know that, but he was never really in love with me. Gale warned me about it when we were first getting together but I just thought that maybe he could love more than one girl like that. That maybe he would realize that I was good for him too.”

 

Tears prick at the corner of Madge’s eyes, but she simply shakes her head, as if trying to rid her mind of those thoughts. "I need to go shower. I'll talk to you later."

 

 ----------------------

 

Katniss shifts her weight from foot to foot as she waits in the hallway outside Peeta’s dorm. Her conversation with Madge had taken a strange turn towards the end, but had gone better than she could’ve hoped, so she’s keeping her fingers crossed that the same will apply to her talk with Peeta.

 

After a few more moments, just when she’s about to leave, his door opens.

 

“Katniss?”

 

He looks so surprised to see her, and she forces a weak smile. “Can I, um, can I come in?”

 

He nods, opening the door wider and stepping to the side, shutting it after her. “Sorry it’s such a mess,” he laments, running a hand through his hair nervously.

 

She looks around at his room, which is clean except for some socks lying on the ground, and lets out a laugh. “You should be, it’s an absolute pigsty,” she teases, and for just a moment, the two feel as if they’re back to normal.

 

Their friendly exchange only lasts for a moment before the awkwardness sets in again.

 

Katniss leans up against Finnick’s bed and Peeta stands by the doorway, neither of them knowing how to start the conversation.

 

She takes a deep breath, willing herself to be open with him, willing herself to actually be honest about how she feels for once.

 

“I don’t regret it,” she says softly, and the look on Peeta’s face tells her that he can’t believe she just said that.

 

“I don’t,” she presses, looking down at her feet. “I’m just sorry that I messed things up between you and Madge and-“

 

He doesn’t even let her finish his sentence before his lips find hers, one hand placed on her neck as the other holds her hip.

 

She parts her lips, allowing his tongue to sweep into her mouth, letting out a soft moan as the two deepen the kiss. Her hands wrap around his neck, her fingers running through his blonde curls as she holds him to her, both completely caught up in each other.

 

He’s the first to pull away, leaving her gasping for breath and wanting more. He leans his forehead against hers, his thumb running along her cheek softly. “I care about Madge and I know I’m the biggest asshole right now, but I don’t regret it either. Katniss, I’ve thought about kissing you every day for the past decade. The only thing I regret is how long it took for me to finally do it.”

 

She bites her lip, speechless as he gazes into her eyes, but she knows that at this point, he knows her well enough to not expect some declaration of love. She’s never been the type to just reveal how she’s feeling, nor is she even the type that believes in love, but she can’t deny the way he makes her heart race and how he can always bring a smile to her face.

 

She responds in the only way she can right now, by kissing him, and he seems content with her reply.

 

“Get dinner with me?” He murmurs against her lips, pulling away once more so that he can look down at her.

 

She’s never said yes to a date before. In high school, she was always too busy taking care of Prim, and last year, she was too focused on her studies to even give a second look to the few boys who asked her out. But she doesn’t even hesitate when she nods in agreement, and she can’t help but smile back at him when she sees how happy he is.

 

And even though she doesn’t want to admit it yet, she knows she’s a goner. 


End file.
